Dear friends,
I’m happy to write some words to yiy, it’s been a while.
I’m starting to feel that I’m going somewhere with my work, project “SOLO” is becoming clearer each day.
First, I wanted to create something about solitude, just solitude: lonely people, things are done when no one’s watching but I couldn’t find anything very interesting as I couldn’t narrow my subject. If you’ve read my previous letter, I got a new job and I’m looking for a new flat because commuting is killing me (almost 3h15 each day) and really need a place more peaceful than the hellish one I live in. After 5 days, of scrolling through many websites, I couldn’t find THE ONE and the tantrum began: frustration, anger, anxiety, eating a whole box of chocolate because I need something cosy and comfy and, the last act, crying because ”I-am-never-going-to-get-the-things-I-want-my-life-is-miserable”. Sound familiar?
That is the face of impatience, that is me when I’m impatient. I’m not patient, to be honest, I rather say that when things go beyond my control, I can’t bare it and I’m impatient, frustrated, irritated. I want everything now and without any effort.
I ruined many paintings and other things because of my lack of patience. Watercolour is a medium that you shouldn’t use if you can’t wait because waiting is part of the process. I’m on a diet, for health reasons, I literally paid a doctor to get this diet and just because I don’t have overnight results, I’m frustrated and not following any recommendation. you can’t rush everything in life, there’s no magic pill and sometimes, the only thing that you can do is stay still and wait.
I’m feeling exhausted because I can’t find 5 minutes of silence, I need air, space, and some time alone. I’m waiting and frustrated because I want things to change now. That’s how I started to paint more and more empty landscapes. Peaceful one, windy one, stormy one and then remembered one of my mum's favorite quote from the Bible, from Isaiah 30:7
Their strength is to sit still.
I never really liked that verse, of course, I mean, everything is moving so fast around me, I’m not seeing any progress and I’m supposed to sit still, just doing what I can do and nothing else?
Maybe because I want to confront my own impatience and its consequence but that verse is becoming the essence of the body of work that I’m creating.
This is how I feel, I’m craving solitude because I’m an introvert in a fast & noisy world but rather than trying to move as fast as everyone, rushing things, trying to control everything, I’ll stay still, peaceful and create on paper the space I need,
I’ll not say that I’m drawing my current level of anxiety but I’m certainly pouring myself into my drawings now that I’m allowing myself to be a painter.
That’s all for me now, I’ll be happy to know how you’re dealing with patience? Team tantrum or team peaceful?
See you soon,
Lyly
Maybe your creative time can be your 5 minutes of peace. Just like origami is an activity that can bring your attention or subconscious into a flowing state while something else boils outside, this can also be the meditative opportunity you needed.
We know how hectic can be to work in a popular coffee shop, but there are a couple channels in youtube were making tea is a peaceful exercise (peaceful cuisine).